The Embankment (3.2km, 106m, 3.3%)

Map and Elevation Profile of the Embankment climb

Strava

The Embankment only barely qualifies as a categorised climb, requiring judicious choice of start and end points to make the grade. It’s a rather featureless climb, three kilometers at a very steady 3–4% gradient along the N81. Despite being an N-road, the N81 is fairly narrow, with little in the way of hard shoulder to hide in as the HGVs thunder past. There’s nothing much in the way of scenery.

So why mention it? Because it has the cardinal virtue of being the only easy route out of the city towards Blessington — the fallback option when you can’t face another grind up Ballinascorney or Mount Seskin. Buckled after a hard ride yesterday? Crippled with a hangover? Recovering from yet another dose of Covid? The Embankment is your friend. During the winter when other roads are slick with frost, the N81 sees enough traffic to melt it off. The surface is uniformly good, with barely a pothole in sight. It’s sheltered from the prevailing westerly winds.

And, of course, it’s perfect for riding fixed gear — if you have any legs at all, you can storm up it in a single out-of-the-saddle effort, humming “The Ride of the Valkyries” to yourself as you go. I’ve crawled up Seskin on fixed and it’s not an experience I’d care to repeat. I can’t imagine making it over Ballinascorney on a single cog. But the Embankment gives easy access to the gentler roads of west Wicklow, and after a couple of bleak months riding around Kildare and north county Dublin, you’ll be very glad it’s there.

Wet road between tree-lined verges under slate grey sky
The top of the Embankment…as you can see, it’s all charm

The Hill of Tara (118km, 798m)

Hill of Tara route map

RideWithGPS

Categorised climbs: The Hill of Tara

I ride this route about once each year, early in the spring when the training plan calls for longer rides but the mountain roads might still be sketchy.  Running through the gentle farmland of north county Dublin and county Meath, it’s eminently suitable for fixed gear riding.

The most tedious aspect of the route is getting out of the city centre — it’s a full 14km of urban traffic until you get to St. Margaret’s. After that you’re mostly on quiet minor roads until you cross the Royal Canal on the way back into Dublin — even then the run through Castleknock and Phoenix Park is one of the more pleasant ways back into the city.

Keep your wits about you when making the turn off the R156 at 85km — it’s on a sharp left-hand bend and you need to go most of the way around to get any view of oncoming traffic.

There are plenty of refuelling opportunities on the way out — there are shops in Oldtown, Garristown, and Duleek, and a petrol station just after you cross the N2 around Balrath. Maguire’s cafe at the top of the Hill of Tara is ideally placed for a lunch stop, more than halfway through the ride, and an easy start afterwards so you can digest a little. It’s probably bedlam during tourist season though.

There’s not much after that — the only business in Dunsany is a piano tuner — but the post office in Kilcloon (88km) has a small shop if your stomach is rumbling.

Yellow Robin Reliant three-wheeler van in the livery of Trotters independent Trading from the sit-com Only Fools And Horses, parked in front of a pebble-dashed pub wall in Ardcath
New York – Paris – Peckham…Ardcath

Piperstown — Glencullen (37km, 563m)

Map of Piperstown to Glencullen route

RideWithGPS

Categorised Climbs: Piperstown Road

Let’s get the ball rolling with something very basic. This is a route I ride mostly in the winter and early spring: the roads are relatively sheltered from the wind, and it packs in a decent amount of climbing for a ride that takes less than two hours. If you’re desperate for a coffee stop (or a pint), Johnnie Fox’s will be happy to take your money.

Head out through Old Bawn on the R114, a road which will soon become tediously familiar. It’s a wide, open drag that offers no respite from the prevailing westerlies but it’s direct and it has the signal virtue of not being the bloody N81.

After the crossroads at Old Bawn, turn left onto the L7114 and follow the road for 6km through Bohernabreena village and up to the Featherbeds. At the T-junction, go left on Military Road to drop down to the Viewing Point, then sharp right onto Cruagh Road.

Take the right turn onto Pine Forest Road and continue past O’Connell’s Rock to the Glencullen crossroads. Turn left onto Red House Road and continue down Burrow Road to join the R117 near Stepaside. From there it’s suburban roads through Dundrum and Terenure to finish.

Variation: turn right after Bohernabreena and follow the road through Glenasmole to join Upper Cunard Road. Continue to the T-junction at Military Road, and turn left to rejoin the original route.

View of Glassamucky from Piperstown Road: Patchwork green fields with mountains risgin in the background.
Glassamucky, from Piperstown Road